Should I Stay in An Unhappy Marriage for the Sake of My Children?
If you are in a marriage this is failing and you are not sure if you should stick it out or give up, you may be faced with a lot of difficult decisions. You will have to come up with the right choice that will be good for the entire family. It is hard to do what makes you happy when you have children involved. You will have to decide if you want to stay in the unhappy marriage for the children or if you should separate ways to make yourself happy.
When you have children, you have a responsibility to them. You must make sure that you are giving them the right care and taking all of their feelings into consideration. For most parents, they live to take care of their children and would do anything to make them happy. When the parents are not having a successful marriage, they may feel like giving up but are afraid to because they want to stay together for the sake of the children.
How to know when a relationship is not going to work
When you are in a marriage and it seems to be failing, you will have to decide what to do. You can take the necessary step that many couples take when they are having trouble to try to make it better. There are ways that you can put forth an effort to make the marriage better. You and your spouse can try going to marriage counseling. This may be helpful tool in a lot of marriages that are having trouble for some reason or another. The marriage counselors can help the two try, sort out their differences, and make the marriage work.
It may be a last resort to go to counseling for many of the unhappy couples. They sometimes are not sure if this is the right step for them or not. However, when couples are not sure where to turn to next, getting a marriage counselor to help may b the right choice for them. This is something that will take little bit of time to do. If the counseling is not working and things at home are getting worse, you may decide that it is time to leave the unhappy relationship before it is too late.
When counseling is not helping anymore and nothing seems to make the relationship heal, you may have to decide to go separate ways. When this happens, the parents will have to tell the children in a way that they will understand. It is very important to not upset the children and to let them know it is not their fault and they have done nothing wrong.
Should you give the relationship one more chance?
Some couples are not ready to give up on their marriage. They may want to try and find a way to go on with their relationship so that they can have a happy life ahead of them. This is especially true when there are children involved in the situation. You want to make sure that you are thinking of their feelings and doing whatever is necessary to let them know they are loved and that both parents will be there for them no matter what.
If you are deciding to give your relationship one more chance, you will want to start out slow. You have to make sure that you are on the same page with your partner. You need to be sure that this is what both of you want to do so that there are no disagreements. You have to be sure that this is something that is worth giving a shot or you will be just wasting your time.
What will happen to the children?
If you are trying to separate from your spouse and you are worried about the children, you can do a few things to help them through. You will have to be open-minded and give them the feeling that they are safe and secure. Let the child know that both parents will protect them and there is no reason for them to worry. They will have the best of both parents so that they are not affected in a negative way at all.
You will have to give the children a lot of love from both parents. This is something that will help the child through the disappointment of their parent’s separating. They will be confused and upset and it is important to have long talks with the child to make sure they are feeling all right with what is happening around them.
It is important to not force them to accept the fact. You must give them space so that they can adjust to the new situation.
The effects it will have on children as they grow up
Usually if the child has the right support through the entire situation, they will grow up to be great adults. They should not have any real problems trying to deal with this type of situation. If a child has the right parenting from both parents, they will grow up to be happy and healthy adults. They will have learned from their parents how to be happy and not to settle for anything less than what they deserve. They should be able to have a good relationship with their parents and to be able to love for themselves one day.
Mailcucan
http://www.articlesbase.com/marriage-articles/should-i-stay-in-an-unhappy-marriage-for-the-sake-of-my-children-73296.html
—————————
Learn spanish fast with rocket spanish – check out the learn spanish cd
15 Comments »
Cathy123456 said :
December 17, 2009 at 8:16 pm
Should i just stay in my unhappy marriage for the sake of my son?
I got married when i was 23, he’s 20 yrs older, at that time it was so right we’re both happy. When we had our baby things changed, he even get jealous with our son…he was saying i’ve given all my love to our son and nothing left for him, I even had sex with him 6 weeks after the birth just so he wont feel left out. My feelings changed towards him since then, there were times when we argue he tells me to move out but beg me to stay when i start packing and he’s calm down. Yes, its his house but we’re married for almost 9 yrs now our son is turning 6. I wanted to have another child but he said the baby should be concieved with love, how can i force myself to love him, im not even sexually attracted to him anymore. He’s most of the time uptight especially with our son..he doesnt have much patience with children thats why my friends and their kids doesnt visit us anymore. Of course there are some good times..seeing him and my son laughing together is worth staying. Im confused, help!
Anthony T said :
December 18, 2009 at 1:18 am
join the club. 50% of people who have been married over 7 years are unhappy. the other 50% are divorced.
References :
chrisatmudd said :
December 18, 2009 at 1:20 am
It sounds like he’s not a good father, especially if he doesn’t have much patience with children. If that’s the case, how is staying in your unhappy marriage helping anyone, including your son?
References :
angelzwings20032001 said :
December 18, 2009 at 1:22 am
Why are you still there? He is abusive to you and your son! Get out for the sake of your child and yourself. Now. Before you both are physically hurt.
References :
superdawgdawg said :
December 18, 2009 at 1:24 am
Don’t expect your son’s father to act like a mother.
Don’t expect perfection in your mate
Don’t think the grass is greener on the otherside of the fence…..some one still has to pay to cut that grass
Don’t expect him to bend over backwards to keep your relationship alive…….you do your part first and he will follow
References :
iona said :
December 18, 2009 at 1:26 am
No, and again no no no!!!
If you are not happy then don’t stay.
To be with someone u r because you love him/her and you are happy.
If you r not then whats the point.
The children r not stupid.
They understand if the family there living is a happy or depressed one.
You r probably hearting more your children like this than u can imaging.
They want a happy family do u have this?
Its better not to be together but have the respect, love, and secure environment 4 ur children rather that arguments, and misery.
References :
Sarah C said :
December 18, 2009 at 1:28 am
don’t stay with someone if you are not happy.
children know what’s going on. if they see mommy and daddy upset and not happy, they think that’s just the way it’s supposed to be.
set a good example and be in a happy relationship.
but, please, work things out if u can.
i’m sorry that ur not SEXUALLY attracted to him anymore. that’s sad.
if u loved him at one point….why would you ever stop being attracted to him?
i find that puzzling.
References :
pamela said :
December 18, 2009 at 1:30 am
I was never married and never had a child, and i thought for so many years that it’s fine. I heard a lot about married life, anyway. They say that it’s the ultimate completion of a person, specially of a mother. Now, there you are claiming that you have an unhappy marriage, which started right, nevertheless. Honey, maybe you are losing some focus here. The fact that you are happy to see the bonding between your son and your husband makes me think that you still got something so precious to fight for. Fight against what? That’s another question. Have you ever thought that MAYBE it’s not about your husband? What about your side, your role in the play? What i really mean is, why don’t you start the flame again? Find that man in him that you loved before. Find that fire that has burnt you before. You’ll never know, maybe you’re just wrestling with your shadows….
References :
camys_daddy said :
December 18, 2009 at 1:32 am
Why not listen to your husband and make it a happy marriage. Your husband has probably given up, let himself go because he can’t get your attention. You said it yourself, you gave all your love to your child.
By doing this, you have short changed your child and your husband.
Put your husband first, period. Ask him to put you first.
It won’t happen overnight, because you didn’t get to where you are overnight, but it will get better if you both try.
Why not tell your husband that you want to put him first and you would like a list of things to choose from that he would like to see you do. Pick one or two and start doing them consistently.
The other side of this coin is to give him a list of things you would like to see him do, specific things, not something general like be more romantic, or be less stressed. Specific like, let’s go out to dinner once/week. Bring me flowers once a month or whatever. Those are just examples.
Keep adding a new thing you do for your husband, and he does for you each month and I guarantee you will see your husband in a new light.
References :
waiting for baby said :
December 18, 2009 at 1:34 am
SOUND SO FAMILIAR
by the way when is this house ever going to be yours
after 9 years of living together this is also your home
References :
TOM said :
December 18, 2009 at 1:36 am
you have to consider what effects his moods will have on your son,maybe you should leave,but ultimately that decision lays with you.
References :
pureinsomniac said :
December 18, 2009 at 1:38 am
yes , if i were you i would stay with him , as he does complete the family circle for you guys , there are serious problems there however that you need to talk about together , or get professional help , if you cannot talk about it , you would probably benifit from an in house separation, which may buy your relationship time, i do personally see a big gap in the age , being a problem, especially in the intimate side , but remember he is getting old , and probably feels like he isnt fitting anymore , he would love the kid , and it would be his world , whatever the outcome , let him see he kid , as it will break his heart getting a double whammy , good luck!
References :
peas maker said :
December 18, 2009 at 1:40 am
Try leaving him for a while. See if he can get used to the situation without the two of you.
Sometime people don’t see what they have, until these things are gone.
If he is happy with the separation, than leave him permanently. This shows that he is happy without you guys, and he doesn’t regret anything.
If he wants you 2 back again, than give him that second and last chance, BUT you and him must talk about his problems towards the kid first. Sort out all the problems before moving back together and it should be fine.
Good luck to you. Hope it helps.
References :
MrsJ S said :
December 18, 2009 at 1:42 am
Whatever you decide, another baby is NOT the answer!!
References :
brokenheart06 said :
December 18, 2009 at 1:44 am
Sweetie most men esp. if they’re older are insecure,it doesn’t matter what we do or how we do it,and yet nothing is good enough to them. Right now your staying for the sake of your son, if your hubby is jealous towards yourson,you can really tell that he can’t be a good father.
He is very selfish when it comes to your needs and he wants is his way,never yours. Do yourself a favor,if you think that you dont love him anymore and he doesn’t turn you on,its time for you to start a new life. if you stayed with him because of your son, things will get heavier and it might end up on confusing your baby. think about yourself now and your son. go out there and start a new life, no one deserve what your going through……I wish you best of life…………….
References :
Leave a Comment